3 down, 8 more to go (so far). Really makes me realize just how long it's been since I last had to write. Also noticing just how bizarre I seem on paper. I sound like some artsy-fartsy alternative lifestyle kind of person in some of these essays.

Feeling a little bit under the weather. I'm excited to finally be doing this, but I feel like I have little to no support outside of my family (which I know isn't true, but it doesn't change the fact that this is the way I feel right now). The more time I spend writing personal statements, studying for MCATs, preparing for secondaries, looking up information about schools, in short, doing everything I need to do in order to actually make it through this process successfully, the more I feel that some of the people around me are getting increasingly frustrated with me.

Look, let's be real here. I want to hang out too. I'm basically under a self-imposed house arrest, studying and reviewing four years worth of science course material and avoiding online forums as best as I can since they only serve to freak me out and I don't need any added anxiety. I think it goes without saying which one I'd rather be doing. But doesn't it speak to just how important this is to me, that I'd choose to ignore my wants and focus on my needs and try to get this done? I mean hell, I've committed to at least four more years of really intense schoolwork, a minimum of three years of residency aka working long, terrible hours and foregoing sleep (and anyone who knows me should know just how much I adore sleeping), not actually having a career until I'm about 30, watching people get sick and unfortunately sometimes die, and oh yeah, being approximately a quarter million in debt. 

I really want this. 

It's an idea I've been playing with since I was probably seven or eight, one that eventually transformed into a very magnetic potential career path when I was about sixteen and that I committed to at some point over the past five years. And all I ask is that people try to understand that and be supportive as I embark on what is an extremely demanding application process that inevitably leads to an even more demanding four years of study. Isn't that what friends do?

I'm ecstatic that I submitted my primary and all, but it would feel ever so much nicer if I had people to share that happiness with.

Working on my app. It's already June 18th, which means I need to get it in soon. Crunch time. Eeks.

On the plus side, reading my personal statement reminds me of why I've chosen to do this. Good sign? I sure hope so.

I've been back in the US for a little less than one week now. Being home, seeing familiar faces, eating good foods that I haven't had in so long, having a piano to play, etc are so indescribably wonderful. But I'm still struck by just how much has changed in such a short period of time, mostly with me.

I am now a snob when it comes to bread. I like (some) stinky cheeses, though I still shrink back in fright when someone opens a proper French refrigerator. I like to eat fresher foods, and try to buy groceries more frequently. I'm appalled at the thought of having only 30 minutes for lunch. I was floored by how big people's waistlines are the first time I went to a mall, whose contents are no longer appealing to my snobby European tastes. I find desserts to be too sweet, and coke to be not sweet enough. I want actual vacations, not just Christmas and Thanksgiving off. I can't go to the bathroom without noticing how much excess water toilets seem to hold. The first thing I notice when I leave the house is how unnecessarily large cars and streets are. How there is no public transportation and how much more environmentally harmful that is. 

As much as I complain about France and its very real lack of organization, it's had a clear impact on the way I think and live. I love it. And miss it dearly. 

I'm starting to study for MCATs and doing my best to prepare for the rather daunting process of applying to med school, and I have no doubt that this is what I want to do and should be doing. But I'm half tempted to just throw everything away, set aside all these elaborate and challenging plans I have for myself and hop on the next plane back to Paris. I'm envious of all the people who can live there for as long as they want to, and wish I could do the same. I won't, for a number of reasons that to some people would seem absurd and trivial, but if I could pick anywhere in the world to live right now, without regard to careers or finances or anything else, it would be Paris.

Luneville, France

I went to Luneville a while back (before I left for the winter break), to see the Chateau de Luneville, which is also known as the petit Versailles. The pictures aren't very good - I think my poor small camera's dying - but here's what it looks like under the fog.

Le Chateau de Luneville

Chalk drawing.

Le Petit Versailles - the right side is much lighter than the rest because part of the castle burned down and was restored a few years ago.

Inside.

Still inside.

Results of the post-fire restoration.

In the garden.

Garden.

Eglise St. Jacques de Luneville

l'Interieur

Rococo style church

Et voila. I'll try to add pictures of Portugal, Spain, Morocco, Metz, and springtime Nancy before I leave for my next trip!

"Where are you from?"

I get asked this question a lot. Usually people just think I'm Chinese, but I've gotten a fairly wide range of other, often hilarious guesses. For example.

Chinese/Japanese. The usual. They never guess Korean though.

Vietnamese. Still sort of acceptable.

  

Thai.

Filipina.

 

Cambodian.

And Malaysian/Indonesian/whatever other people they can think of from an Asian country of course. Which, for some people, comprises a rather surprisingly long list. Then we leave the continent and have...

  

Spanish. I don't quite see it.

Malagasy (Madagascar). Really don't see it.

And my personal favorite:

Pocahontas. Yes, really.

Apparently the combination of my facial features, hair, skin tone, and language abilities is extremely confusing for the French.

Bienvenue Chez Les Allemands

One of the German teachers at the school (who also happens to be the father of one of my students) decided to show me around the smaller villages near here and take me to some of the artisanat things this Sunday. Strangely enough, he's one of the friendliest teachers (to me anyway) I've met here, even though we don't work together or even see each other very often. Don't get me wrong, the other teachers are nice to be sure. But our relationships are, for the most part, strictly professional, and our interactions are limited to the times that we run into each other in the staffroom.

So on Sunday, Michael picked me up from the lycee and drove me to Sorneville where he and his family live, showing me some of the other small villages on the way. I met his wife, who kind of intimidated me at first but is a total sweetheart and is extremely skilled at making things from precious metals and stones. We went to another nearby village to check out some of the other exhibitions (embroidery, furniture restoration, ceramics, glass blowing, etc.) then went back to Sorneville so Kathrin could show people her work, picked up Simon and went to go visit a potter friend of Kathrin's.

One of the villages, where we visited a potter and saw her workshop.

 

View from her backyard.

After talking to her and seeing her workshop and kiln, we went back to Sorneville, where I met their younger son, had a delicious lunch, and played with their dog & cats before getting to know Michael and Kathrin better. They're super cool people - he has three degrees and is a forest scientist but is currently working as a German teacher, she's a goldsmith, they traveled together in Asia for 6 months when they were younger, and their dog is one that they adopted after it had been abandoned. How could you not like them?  Then another one of my students and a kid I don't know ended up coming over, so I walked around outside with them after being told by random kid's mother that I speak French with an impeccable accent. Yay. My time here has not gone to waste!

A dog directing people to the exhibition.

Sorneville, France

Sorneville, Population: 350.

Mairie de Sorneville

stop pub SVP !!

One of my students being silly.

Sorneville

Spring is (finally) here!

Afterward there was more socializing with people, punctured by my helping my students with their math homework then entertaining them with my origami skills. Michael drove me back pretty soon after but showed me around Amance a little bit first. It's a small village perched on a hill, where houses apparently cost a small fortune because of the view you get.

Amance

It's strange how much the the villages, despite their small populations, feel and look quite a bit like suburbs in the US. Whenever the students told me that they lived in villages, I pictured something not at all like what I saw. But I suppose one of the best things about traveling is rethinking previous conceptions and learning new things.

And before I left, Simon and Kathrin had cut some flowers for me from their garden, so I set those up in a nice old pasta jar once I got back.

A jarful  of happiness.

Being in France has started a rather unexpected love affair with Germans/Germany. Good thing I'm going there in a few weeks!